Despite the title, I do not, in fact, feel 20. Not really, anyway.

What I do feel, though, is a tiny bit optimistic laced with...well, just the usual school boredom. We have a week off, and suddenly we have twice the amount of work than we would have gotten had it been a normal school week. So, yeah...

Anyhow! Why am I optimistic? No, hell hasn't frozen over and Armageddon isn't around the corner. I've been able to write a little on At Dawn these past few days. I'm not sure how many chapters there is going to be anymore. I think I might leave it at 8 chapters. If I end it after 7, it just feels wrong. This is provided that I manage to finish chapter 7, of course.

But right now I think that I can. *knock on wood* I have no idea when I can finish chap. 7, but I promise to post as soon as I finish it. I apologise for the long wait for it. I blame mild depression caused by a never ending writer's block. Well, there are other reasons too, but that's a separate issue.

That's all for now. Laters.

Hello everyone.

No, I'm not dead. I've just been maxed out on stress lately, and strangely enough, checking dA is not something I do very often anymore. It might have something to do with the fact that it has now been practically 2 months, and so far I've written 2000 words in total (excluding school work, of course). That's...well, it's very unlike me. Writing is like breathing. It's a huge part of me. To not be able to write sucks. It hurt at first. I'm glad I'm past that stage.

Not writing has left me...well, placid, I guess, but not in a good way. I don't feel quite like myself. Maybe that's why I've been taking a 100 + pictures; to compensate? My creativity has to flow out somewhere, right? It can't just disappear...right?

School wise...things are picking up. More assignments are coming in, and I have to make sure I'm up-to-date with stuff. So far, the reading hasn't been a problem. We're reading a good dozen novels (if not more), but I can take it. I'm more worried about working on written assignments when I can't write for pleasure. So far, so good. *knock on wood* Also, I'm more able to talk to people in class. I'm not as nervous when we're asked to discuss stuff with the person sitting next to us.

Another reason I'm feeling a little out of sorts is because...I'm turning 20 in 4 days. 4 days. I don't feel ready at all. I know it's not a big step or anything, but...I still don't feel ready. And I'm going to be all alone this year. Last year I at least got up and was able to see my friends during class. This year I have no one. I have to get up at the crack of dawn (aka, 6 AM), get to class and finally be home at around 1 PM. Then I can finally focus on 'how do I feel about turning 20 today?'. I'm going home later in the day, though. I have the next week off, so I'm going to get as much time at home as I can. But when I wake up and until *shrug* 8 PM, I'm going to be all alone. That sucks.

I'll get over it, though. And once I get my creativity back, I'll laugh about this dry-spell. I just wonder...when will that be?

That's it for tonight. I'm gonna hit the sack. See you all soon, hopefully with something to show of my month of absense.

Mission: Moving
Mission Details: Moving to be closer to chosen college (HVE)
Mission Status: Mission completed

So, as you can see, I've been relocated once again. I just finished my first day at my new college, and as usual, I felt like crap. It got better though, but you know when you're new, you know no one and nothing around you, you tend to get nervous. When I get nervous, I get nervous. The end.

But like I said, I feel better. I'm tired as fuck, though. I have to change my sleeping pattern totally. I can't go to bed at, say, 4 AM anymore. Oh well. I'll get used to it. I'm going to miss staying up late, though.

I'm fully moved into my new apartment now. I have my own bedroom and bathroom, but I share a kitchen and a small living room type space with three other people (one guy and two girls). That will not be too fun. I don't know them too much, and it looks like the guy I share a fridge with is a little bit of a litter-bug. I have my food in boxes. That's all I'll say about that matter.

But there's two things I genuinely don't like about this place.
One: I have a keycard. A frigging keycard. If I lock myself out, I lock myself out. Then I have to call one of the landlords (if I have my phone on me, otherwise I have to borrow one) and ask to be let in. And guess what? That costs money. That frigging sucks.
Two: it's not very soundproof. So now, with the first week of school starting and such, there's a party every night from around 11 PM to...I dunno, 3 AM? I fall asleep, because someone has to get up early in the morning. *snort*

Otherwise it's alright. I've missed being out of the house, and even though I have family close by, I'm living alone again. But things will be pretty hectic from now on. I fear I have lots of classes four days a week, and perhaps a seminar on the last day, so I won't have that much spare time. Oh well. The price of going to college, eh?

But things will look better once I get into the new rhythm. Once I learn the bus-routes and the way to the store and such, I will feel more comfortable. That's just going to take a week or two. I just need to give it time.

About At Dawn: because of the stressload, I haven't been able to write at all. I might not be able to post the final chapter in August at all. I hope the At Dawn readers can forgive me.

Until next time. *wave*

I have no real reason for writing this journal; other than the fact that I'm bored and wanted to take a break from writing.

And At Dawn, The Moon Shall Rise is moving along nicely. *knock on wood* I have currently finished writing chapter 4, and I just need to proofread chapter 3 before I can submitt it. I'm not sure about the length and such. But to those that are wondering, I'll have it up before Friday, no sweat. Probably even before that, knowing myself.

The warm summer weather has basically disappeared. We're now left with random thunderstorms and rain showers every hour. It's cool, so it's really comfortable at night, but it's more than a little gloomy. It would be nice if it was a little sunny and maybe a little warmer, though not as warm as it was in June. That was just too hot!

I've been listening to a lot of old music, lately. Some 80s hits and some songs from my childhood. The summer always makes me nostalic for some reason. So far it has worked for me, but I don't doubt that my old music will lure me back into its clutches soon. Hehe.

Once I've finsihed At Dawn, I'll start reading the Lestat Trilogy. I bought the books back in June, but forced myself to put them on hold. I didn't want them to spoil the view I had of the story. I'm really looking forward to reading them. ^^

That's all for now.

I know this is wicked premature, but I got bored and didn't want to just post a new round of pictures. But since I find myself being horribly bored these days, a picture or two will probably be out soon as well.

So, without any further ado, I preset And At Dawn, The Moon Shall Rise, my beloved vamp fic. Good luck to me to fit that title into each submission. *cough*

Chapter one will be out within the day. But because I'm evil, I won't update until...two or so weeks have passed. Why? Because not even half of the fic is complete. I'm currenlty not even halfway through chapter three. I'll take it slow until it's complete. Then I can update more often.

...Oh, you people (aka, the ones that plan to read this fic) are going to hate me. Hehe.